Just older
by fiesa
Summary: He has not forgotten. He is just older. Every time Jess returns home, he visits Terabithia. OneShot, set ten years after the movie.
1. Waiting

**Just older**

_I didn´t really like the movie´s ending. Neither did my sister. Even though she seldom reads what I write, this is for her. A kind-of better ending. Or rather: A vision of the future._

_Summary_: He hasn´t forgotten. He´s just older than he was at that time. _Set ten years after the movie._

_Character: Jess_

_Disclaimer: "Bridge to Terabithia" doesn´t belong to me. Nor do Jess or May Belle or the kingdom in the forest.  
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* * *

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Fourteen years is not enough of an experience for a boy to fall in love with a girl for all eternity.

But fourteen years is enough to be scarred by a girl´s death for a lifetime.

* * *

Jess feels like an idiot, returning to the forest of his childhood again and again.

It´s not the same forest it was when he was a child – a lonely, desperate outsider. It has changed the same way everything has changed: his life, his parents, his family. His demeanor, his beliefs, his opinions. The changes in the forest are less subtle, though: the trees are taller, the undergrowth is thicker. The little river has fallen dry, but still, a broken bridge spans the width, a few wooden boles and rusty nails. The tree house is nonexistent. He finds the place by instinct, not by sight, because nature has long ago claimed back what children thought everlasting.

Whenever he visits his childhood home, he returns here. To Terabithia. The imaginary kingdom has died, forgotten and abandoned by those who brought it to life. Children can add reality to a dream. Children can let it die as soon as they grow up. Grow up and forget. Whenever he returns, he feels old. How long ago was it when he was still playing here? He can almost hear the voices, see her smile: Leslie. Leslie. Leslieleslieleslie. Fourteen years is not nearly young enough to forget a boy´s first love. Now, ten years later, he still remembers her but he doesn´t mourn her any longer. He is scarred, he is sad, but life goes on. There is no other way to it. He hasn´t forgotten. He´s just older than he was at that time.

* * *

Every time he returns to Terabithia, he wonders why his little sister doesn´t want to come. After all, she was the one who shared the burden and the happiness of ruling a country with him for several years. But May Belle refuses to join him in his wanderings through memories. Maybe she just wants to give him a refuge of his own. Maybe she really has forgotten she once was the Princess of a beautiful kingdom. Maybe he should ask her, because May Belle always was the one person who understood him – before Leslie came and after Leslie left. She still is the one member of his family he loves most. But she has changed, too.

The castle. The trolls. The Therabithian Warriors – they´re all there, but theirs is a dead existence. Their king only visits now and then, their queen died, their princess forgot. Unable to continue living by themselves, they return to what they were before two children called them into life: Imagination and dreams. But their whispers, their songs and their voices still echo through the forest whenever Jess returns. He cannot see them, but he can hear them. Along with their voices, Leslie´s voice returns to him.

* * *

It´s not as if he is frozen in time. His life continues, his world didn´t stop turning. He remembers her, sometimes, when he sees a white terrier or a girl with exceptionally blonde hair and blue eyes. Sometimes, he takes out his sketch pad and stumbles over the drawings that inspired his own world, and then it is that he can almost see her face. But the veil between the dead and the living never lifts. He is forced to live on, to learn, to live, to meet people and women. It´s impossible to forget her. She was his queen. But the queen is dead, along with her entire kingdom, and a king without a country and without a queen cannot simply give up and die as well. He has to live, to go on, honor and codex demand it. The only things he allows himself that remind him of the fourteen-year-old boy he once was are his returns to the dead country he created and he loved so much.

* * *

A noise wakes him from his reverie.

There´s a dog barking between the trees – a high-pitched, growling bark which reminds him of P.T.´s bark while hunting trolls. From where he´s sitting – on the forest´s ground between the last remnants of what once was a tree house – he can´t see anything, so he gets up and shades his eyes. Suddenly, his heart is beating erratically and he doesn´t know why. The barking draws nearer. He can see flashes of white fur shining through the trees.

"E.T.!", a voice calls as the dog makes his way through the trees unhaltingly. He´s headed for Jess, who stands frozen, unable to move. The voice follows the dog, also coming straight for him. For a second, he is tempted to run. He might have, but his feet are frozen. And the dog bursts through the shrubbery and throws himself at Jess.

"E.T.!"

Halfway through fending off the dog who has gone mad with happiness and trying to stay on two legs, Jess catches a glance at the person following the dog on his feet. A young woman appears between the trees, her ash blond hair streaming in all directions. She stops dead when she sees Jess. Neither of them moves. The dog continues trying to attract Jess´s attention until he kneels down to pet him. His eyes never leave the woman´s face.

"Leslie?"

She is taken aback.

"No. My name´s Elizabeth. Who are you?"

"Jess. My parents own the house on the other side of the… the former river. Where are you from?"

"I just moved into the old manor house. I´m from Nevada."

"Nice to meet you, Elizabeth."

His eyes haven´t left her face and she starts to shift uncomfortably.

"E.T. seems to like you."

"Your dog is from another planet?"

She laughs quietly and some of the tension seems to float away with the sound.

"No. But he has the same eyes."

Jess has to look down and sees two black stones, looking at him intently. He smiles, almost involuntarily.

"He has."

Giving the dog a last clap, he gets up from the soft earth and faces the woman who intruded his world. Never, ever in those last ten years of his visits has he seen a stranger in Terabithia. If he´s realistic - if he thinks like the grown-up he´s supposed to be - he knows it´s just another wild forest and there´s nothing that would stop other people from entering. But then he has seen what imagination can do, and he is pretty sure Terabithia is a world of her own. She wouldn´t allow some random stranger to intrude if she didn´t want to, even if the stranger carries Leslie´s face.

"What are you doing here?"

The woman shrugs. "E.T. ran away and I followed him. He doesn´t know the area yet, so I was afraid he might get lost."

"Did you cross the bridge?"

Her brows crease.

"You mean the wooden planks over the dried river bed? Yes, I came that way."

She found the way into his kingdom.

The woman named Elizabeth whistles and E.T. stops wandering and sniffing around and skips over to her. She leashes the dog and finally throws a long, measured look around.

"This is a beautiful place", she says and Jess´ breath catches. Can she see what he sees? Can she? Could she possibly?

"So you´re living here now?", he asks instead. She nods.

"And you´re visiting?"

"I used to live here, too. I grew up in these woods. I used to play here a lot."

"I can see why. So how long are you going to stay?"

"A few weeks. Maybe longer. Depends."

"Depends on what?"

"Depends on whether I find a job in the next town or not."

They´re silent while Jess watches the woman and the woman watches the trees.

"I´d better get back now", she finally says and Jess nods, both relieved and unwilling. There´s something in this woman that draws him in like a light draws in a moth. And, at the same time, he´s scared.

"Maybe I´ll see you."

When he doesn´t answer, she turns and starts to leave. Then, suddenly, she freezes.

Jess knows why. And he´s as surprised as she is. The tiny little Terabithian warrior is slowly seeping past Elizabeth, his golden wings beating slowly and irregularly, his eyelids still droopy from the long sleep. He notices Jess and snaps to attention, saluting his king politely. Then he sees Elizabeth and repeats the greeting. And off he is, while Elizabeth stares open-mouthed and Jess can´t believe what he just saw.

The woman turns at him.

"Was that…"

"A tiny little gnome with wings and a lance? Yeah."

"You got to be kidding me."

Jess just shrugs. The woman stares at him and then turns to leave again. "Freak", she mumbles. He can hear her. He watches her back retreat into the shrubbery, the white dog trailing in front and behind her.

Suddenly, he makes up his mind.

"Come back if you have questions", he calls after her. She doesn´t turn around, but in the way her shoulders stiffen he can see she has heard. Jess sinks back to the ground and watches as the warriors, the gnomes and the hogers stir in their sleep.

* * *

Terabithia isn´t dead. It´s just asleep, waiting for someone. Maybe this someone will be the new queen. Maybe it will just be the person to wake them from their sleep, to give them life again.

The king watches the woman leave with the same rapt expression the face of every Terabithian shows. Together, they wait.


	2. General Information

Just for general information:

Many, many people asked for a sequel to this one shot. I usually don´t write sequels to one shots, but because I had such an amazing response (and because I started to like Elizabeth a lot, and because I want Jess to be happy again^^) I sat down and tried to think of a sequel. It took me some time – I apologize! I needed three attempts to get it the way I wanted it to be.

So now, it´s ready and posted, and if anyone still is interested, you can find it in my stories under the title "Forever Queen".

I´d be happy to hear your opinion and would like to, once again, thank you for your amazing response!

isa*


End file.
